Is Trump A Racist?

trump mexicoFacebook has become pretty political in the last few years, and with the presidency of Donald Trump now steering into its third year, the divisions are still deep and painful between those of us who lean right and those of us who lean left. Daily we are all bombarded with accusations of false news stories, cries of “collusion” countering cries of “exoneration”, and both sides scrambling to prove their own side’s opinions while dodging the “facts” being thrown their way that might prove otherwise. Frankly, it’s a mess out there and we can’t help but get pulled into it from time to time.

Just for clarification, I was a Republican until Trump came along. Now I consider myself republicana left-leaning Independent. To me, Trump’s presidency has done one thing that I find dubiously positive – it’s shown the severe lack of morals, pathetic lack of ethics, and ridiculous lack of a spine in our Republican representation in the government. It has helped shine a spotlight on how power has truly corrupted our representatives, who will do and say anything to keep their places among the rich and powerful. They’ve shown themselves to be elitist, thinking themselves beyond the law, beyond the truth, and infinitely more important than the people they were elected to represent. While that is a miserable thing to find out about the people who are supposed to be serving our interests, I’m of the opinion that I’m glad I found out. I will work tirelessly to oust them all.

I have a lot of friends that are still staunchly Republican though, and in a few instances, that has caused some friction. I try not to engage much with the political posts that hawk different views from mine, but once in awhile, I disagree so much, I just need to say something. Last night was one of those times.

My friend and fellow writer, who is a Conservative, posted this on Facebook:

vic fb post

Before I continue, I would like to lay down a few rules. Number one, I don’t find that because someone else thinks a different way, that automatically makes them an enemy and/or unintelligent, so please don’t comment calling anyone names. I’m always happy to open up a dialogue, but if it digresses to people just being rude, that’s not useful. I’m confident in why I believe what I believe, and I imagine people who disagree with me might feel the same way. So, learning to disagree without being offended is necessary.

600px-Facebook_logo_(square)I voiced my concern that this statement wasn’t true, and that there were many instances that convinced me Trump was indeed a racist. In true form, my friend asked me to back up my beliefs, and I promised her I would. So here we go…  🙂

People today tend to get the term “racist” wrong. They assume that in order to be a racist person, you need to wish ill-will on another race of people. Actually, that isn’t really true. It is just when you treat someone differently (good or bad) because they are from a different race than you are. There are actually a lot of people who consider themselves to be good people who by their own actions and words, are racist.

For me, Trump is a very clear example of a racist person. He has actually been this way for a really long time. Here are some examples of Trump’s racism I find compelling:

When I was compiling this list, I didn’t include everything I was able to find. Everything listed has more than one source and doesn’t come from news sources known strictly for enabling only one side of an argument.

To me, it is clear that Donald Trump is, in fact, a racist human being. Whether he maxresdefaultunderstands or acknowledges that fact about himself is irrelevant, though I am inclined to believe that he does think that he is in a superior race, and thus believes his value is somehow greater than people who belong to races of color.

In my opinion, trying to use the bad acts of Jussie Smollet, an African American and a man who identifies as a gay man, and the fact that he didn’t have to reap the consequences of his crimes as some kind of proof that Trump isn’t a racist, just doesn’t add up. Jussie is rich and famous; he belongs to the elite class that tends to buy their way out of their own consequences, and Trump himself is in that same class. It’s pretty far-fetched, at best.

I think at our core, we’re all a little racist. We tend to be more fearful of people who don’t look like we do, and all the stereotypes that follow people around don’t help. The truth is, if I was a black person, I’d be terrified of white cops. If I was a Mexican person, I’d be afraid of being accused of anything by a white person. And as we hear constantly, we white people are always being told that caravans of Latino gang members are heading our way to break into our country, rape and kill us all.

By using kernels of fear that linger deep inside of all of us, the rhetoric has forced most of us to take a long, hard look at who we are deep inside, and face the age old question, “Am I a racist?”.

Some people have embraced their fear and their hate, like Facebook Videos are constantly proving, while others, like myself, have sought to put that nugget of fear to rest by using logic and spirituality. Skin color is biology and has not one thing to do with anything but that.

You simply can’t paint entire groups of people as good or bad depending on how they look. And if you find yourself doing that, you should really examine why you feel that way, and work on becoming better.

We ALL have it in ourselves to do better than this.



Voting in the Midterms – Once Red, Now Blue

Go VoteToday is a big day for voters across the United States. In fact, I’m going to have to admit, I’m more invested in this election than the one in 2016. But for me, electing Donald Trump and all he has done in the 2 years he’s been president, is the exact reason I voted in this midterm.

To say that America is very divided right now is an understatement. I’ve never seen so many of my friends and family squarely on the opposite side of my opinions, and I’m sure they are equally flabbergasted at my thoughts on things as well. Up until this election, I was predominantly a Republican. This election I voted straight Democrat. I don’t feel like a traitor to my party, either. The Republican party I belonged to originally disappeared when the Tea Party made its appearance, and this weird hybrid I see today is not what I signed up for. For me, the Republican party no longer exists other than in name.

It’s been a weird time to talk about politics, too. You can’t just calmly discuss why you feel for or against things our government does. Politics has always been a hot button – like religion – but it is way worse now. People get so upset that you don’t agree with them that they resort to name-calling and massive amounts of anger are generated toward the opposition.

And yet, opposition is exactly what this country was founded on. We need to keep each other in a checks and balances kind of atmosphere, and unfortunately, we are just completely divided. If you aren’t for me, you’re against me, right?

The beautiful thing about having your own blog is you have a platform to say what you believe and why you believe it, and that is what I’m going to do. I’m 100% against everything Donald Trump says and does. There. I’ve said it.

One of the key things about me forming an opinion is Christianity. And no, I don’t mean this weird form of godliness that has nothing of Jesus in it. I mean the kind that takes its cues from the Bible, and not from power, money, or race.

You see, I have been driving myself nuts trying to figure out why “Christians” would support a man who lies a lot, cheats on his wives, doesn’t pay his bills, declares bankruptcy every few years, and who keeps his power by using fear to dictate to his fan base. I know some of his supporters. I get that the man has a certain amount of charisma when he is speaking, but I myself can’t get past what he is actually saying.

For me, you can’t get all self-righteous about saving unborn babies’ lives and then split parents apart from their children as a method to discourage immigration. You can’t say that you respect women when you have paid off a porn star you cheated with while your wife was home with a newborn baby. You can’t give all your rich friends a tax break then try to suck the deficit from social security and medicare that will sustain the working class when the time comes. You can’t even call social security and medicare entitlements, since we pay into those funds with our hard earned money. And you can’t blame the other side for violence when you throw your support in for people who are avowed white supremacists, or call yourself a nationalist, or encourage our police officers to be rougher with criminals, or chant hate mantras toward people and businesses who don’t agree with you.

You don’t get to spend more time throwing self-aggrandizing rallies for yourself and profit your own business by taking the whole presidential entourage to your resort to go golfing all the time, and then turn around throw shade on my social security and medicare. This does not show a fiscally mature human being. It shows me a narcissist who wants the news to only say about him what he wants to think of himself. If the truth is told, and he doesn’t like it, then suddenly it is fake news. How is that okay with anyone?

To me, the truth is very clear. This guys is not about America, and he isn’t about you or me, the people. He’s about scamming us to make a profit. Remember, this guy says he could shoot a person on the street in broad daylight, and never lose a single supporter. Sadly, that might be true. But for this American voter, that isn’t okay. This country is not filled to the rim with racists who whip up a frenzy over a bunch of immigrants looking for asylum. There are people out there who care less about voting along party lines and more about what our reputation is on the world stage. It’s about welcoming those who need a safe place to live. It’s about embracing diversity, and being kind, gentle, compassionate, and empathetic. It’s about obeying the God we chose to serve by not living in fear; loving one another; living what we say we believe; and not worshiping the almighty dollar.

People can and will believe what they want, and I’m no exception. But I do want to point out one last thing. At some point during the Nazi party’s reign in Germany, it was illegal to hide Jews. If that is the way we’re heading, you can believe me when I say this — I will break the law of the land rather than break the law of human decency.

~ Bird

To The Ex On What Would Have Been Our 25th Wedding Anniversary

390188_10151362483864053_419440063_nTomorrow would have been mine and Chef’s 25th wedding anniversary. It sounds strange saying it to myself. We’ve been apart for 6 years now, and my life looks nothing like it did when we were together. So, while I acknowledge this would have been a milestone, a big part of me just doesn’t care.

You have to understand, I didn’t let Chef go easily or quickly. When that stupid drug broken heart 2showed up, I had all the faith and hope in the world that together, we’d be able to get him off of it and back on the right path again. I considered this problem to be huge, but fixable. I did what most spouses do when they find themselves up against an addiction – enabled, cried, begged, threatened, enabled some more, cried, begged, prayed, threatened. Finally, I started carrying out some of my threats. I left him. I stopped giving him money. I stopped making excuses for him. And, almost 2 years later, I stopped waiting for him. I had ceased to believe our marriage could ever survive the hell we had been through.

The drugged out Chef did a lot of things that were plain horrible. He cheated on me. He stole things from me and gave them to his girlfriend. He told elaborate, terrible lies about me to our friends. He said things to me that were so completely evil, it scared me. He hit me. He stalked me. He was just a whole different, terrible other person.

Medical Tablet OverdoseWhat I learned from the whole experience was quite profound though. I learned that love really can bear all things. Love is powerful, and it doesn’t give up easily. As quick as I was able to forgive one betrayal, another would would surface, and I’d cry, make excuses for him to myself, forgive, and then another one would pop up. I was off kilter for over 2 years thinking that I needed to somehow save this man because I loved him.

What I didn’t see at each terrible moment was that the way I felt about Chef was taking a hit. I had survived the lying, the cheating, the hitting, the stealing, the stalking, and yet I still felt like I needed to save him. I felt stuck because he was my husband, and because that’s what you do when you love someone.

I don’t know if other people get a lightening bolt moment when they realize their relationship is truly over. I just know that I did. I sat in my little one bedroom apartment, finally understanding that the relationship I had been so sadly trying to save had been gone a long time now, and what I was hoping for could never exist again. In fact, the minute he lied to me the very first time, the relationship I’d loved so long and so hard had already ended.

Here’s the thing.

A relationship where two people trusted each other changes the minute that trust is dadandkidsbetrayed. Can you get passed it? Sure. But the damage has been done. Your relationship is different now. When you cheat on a spouse, or hit them, or steal from them, you’ve introduced knowledge about who you are and what you will do, to the other person in that relationship, and no matter how much they don’t want to believe it, the other person can’t not know what he/she now knows.

That’s what I tried to do for a long time. I tried not to know that my husband had the ability to lie straight to my face. I tried not to know he would and did cheat on me. I tried not to know he had all these terrible things within him to do me and others around him. I tried to not know that this is who Chef really was.

I finally had to accept that I did know who he really was now, in his heart of hearts, and it wasn’t someone I wanted a relationship with.

I know I gave my marriage all my effort to save; but when I realized I would never see this person in the same light ever again, I had to walk away.

  • I don’t owe someone allegiance who has shown none to me.
  • I don’t owe a liar the truth,
  • I don’t owe a thief money.
  • I don’t owe respect to an abuser.
  • I don’t owe fidelity to a cheater.

And because I won’t be a liar, a thief, an abuser, or a cheater, I can’t be with him. I’m not equipped to be that kind of wife.

There are consequences in life, and it’s sometimes hard but necessary to separate yourself from someone else’s.


Parking in the Pain


It’s kind of hard to summarize the journey that got me to the point I am right now. There was so much that went into it, and without going in depth into each decision, each event, each reaction, it’s hard to understand the reality of it.

I used to keep a blog called Everyone Has A Story, and it did a pretty good job of chronicling the end of a long marriage for me. I used my blog as a journal, and my story started right about the time my husband, Chef, began to use meth and ended when I moved away from him and Oklahoma several years later. It was a crazy painful story and not one that I really like to think about these days. But I guess it’s important for me to sum it up. It’s the foundation of my story now. (I’ve pulled Everyone Has A Story down. It served it’s purpose.)

I was married to Chef for about 22 years. Truth be said, I’m still married to him. We’re estranged. But since I have no intention of marrying again, and he’s too caught up in drug use to file on me, we’ll probably stay linked until one of us dies. Chef joined the Bandidos Motorcycle Club about 10 years into our marriage, and we both remained in the lifestyle for approximately 10 years. I have a lot of mixed emotions about the club; but if I’m being honest, Chef tanked his own life, and blaming clubs, or other women, or even drugs, is a cop out. We all have a choice in the things we decide we will or will not do, including Chef.

After 4 years of losing my shit over Chef, I decided one cloudy morning in Tulsa, Oklahoma that I wanted to be as far away from him, and clubs, and sad memories as I could get. I packed up my family, including my dogs, and came back to Texas. I had a good friend who reached out and helped me get into an apartment. I found a job, and I began my long trek to being independent. I’ve never looked back since.

When I wrote Everyone Has A Story, I had a specific story to tell – how meth had destroyed my marriage. After It Ended is something different. It’s a story about how you don’t have to park in the pain. You go through the Valley of the Shadow of Death….you don’t set up camp there.

I’m happy, and I know other people can be too. 🙂


The Journey Begins

Thanks for joining me!

This is the part where I find out who I really am.

I married right out of high school, and spent all my life building a life with someone else. After I left my husband, Chef, I had to figure out how to live on my own. I had no idea who I was without him, and so for the next few years, I set out to find myself. When the titles were stripped away — wife, mother, daughter — who was left?

Turns out, there was a lot left. Everything changed. I liked a whole different genre of music and literature. I liked living peacefully, quietly. I was more selective of the kinds of people I allowed in my life.

I’m still learning, but so far, I’m enjoying this part of my life. After it ended, something new began, and I’m loving every minute of it.